I remember back when I was a kid. There was always one night that I would await every year. it used to be in March. recently they moved it to the 4th Sunday in February. I've always had dreams of winning an Oscar. I always wanted to go up there and accept the award as best actress.
As I grew up, I realized that I wasn't comfortable speaking in front of crowds. I shifted my passion elsewhere. I still have the dream to be the first female director to win best director. I also would love to have my writing acknowledged.
Every year I tune in with the same dreams that I had when I was young. To be up there and not knowing what to say. Coming up with a list of people that have made a major impact on me. Each year I feel a little more defeated.
A part of me regrets giving up my film major. Maybe regret isn't the write word. Wish. I wish I had gotten in to UCLA. I wish I had made the second deadline for USC (especially considering they really wanted me for their writing program). But all this wishing isn't going to change the reality.
It also lights the fire in me to get writing again. I re-ignites the passion I have for screenwriting and film in general. Usually it's a generalized feeling that I have. This year I've already started formulating the story. I have a character background that I wrote a couple of years ago. The more I thought about it last night, the more I formulated what it was I wanted to write and where I wanted to go with it.
Now comes the part of writing that I'm not normally as enthused about. The bare bones construction. Making notes about where I see it going. Coming up with supporting characters. Fleshing out the supporting and main characters. And then the part I love more then anything, writing the actual screenplay.
One of these years I'll be the one up on that stage and accepting that award. That's the mantra I need to tell myself. (Right?)
No comments:
Post a Comment